OK, so, I happened to have 15 minutes of overtime and come home fifteen minutes early, and immediately turned on the television, something that almost never happens. Due to these unusual circumstances, I caught an episode of Oprah...something that REALLY never happens (plus, I sort of thought she no longer had a show?? Oh well).
I am so glad I caught this episode!
It was about being happy!
I only watched the second half of the show, and it was filled with little tidbits that start out "Research has shown" and involved money and happiness! It was fate!
First things first, I learned that happiness "maxes out" at a household income of $75,000 for a family of four. (Note: this is an average, so if you live in New York City and you think that won't cover your living expenses, please remember how far it would go in rural Alabama and even things out) Apparently, at that point, you have all your needs met, and nicely. Meaning, you have a car, a home, some money to put away, some money to blow, plenty to eat. After that, you can have more "things" but those things don't increase your happiness. . .at least not long-term. If you have a household income of $75,000 or more, then, you should be focusing on "experiences" and doing things that make you happy, not on trying to increase your wealth so that you can buy more.
While I agree with the idea of what they are saying, I must admit I was thinking a lot about the person who is making $100,000 a year, but is very in debt, has a large house payment, student loans, a nice car, and also the "rich expenses" (a phrase I've made up, thankyouverymuch) which include nicer clothes then I have to wear to my job, dry cleaning for the nicer clothes, parking and commuting and Smartphones and networking dinners, drinks and luncheons and charitable foundations and entertaining (company big-wigs need nice houses to host dinners, an expense us lowly paper pushers never have to think about). If that person could make $150,000 and not increase their spending, they would feel happier, I bet. Of course, if they were making $75,000 and didn't have to have the nice home or had a shorter commute or could work from home and save on dry cleaning 2 days a week...maybe they would, in fact, be happier.
This was not the only thing I learned. They said that joining a club, which requires you to go to a monthly meeting, in person, will increase your happiness more then doubling your salary. I like my book club, but I am not certain I really like them THAT much. It is food for thought, though. One more reminder that, once you are out of debt, you DO need to retrain yourself to take up hobbies and interests again, even if there is some expense involved. (If you are still in debt, you should ALSO take the time to find free hobbies and interests or volunteer work, but everyone knows I didn't, so, whatever).
I have a two-mile commute to work currently. This is the shortest I have ever had, and, while I like it in the sense that I only have to fill up my gas tank every 3 weeks, and oil changes are rarely necessary...I must admit I miss my book-on-tape time and the unwinding before I get home time. In the past, I have had commutes in the 15 to 30 minute range. What I learned today on Oprah, is that you would need to make an extra $40,000 a year to make up the happiness lost by having a one hour commute each way. I suppose for people with families this is more intently obvious ~ we all know someone who had their first child and realized that being gone for 10 or 11 hours five days a week could essentially prevent them from ever seeing their child awake.
Two more little factoids and I will stop rambling.
1) The happiness you receive from a material item (new shoes or a new house or anything in between), lasts for no more than nine months. Just a little reminder that while I am now unbroke, and I CAN spend money on new things (nice things), I have to also make sure I am adjusting my budget to allow for the experiences - whether that is a trip, a club or hobby, or even a charity, that will bring me happiness that will not wear off in a few months and simply require me to buy something else.
2) The four "happiest jobs" in America all have an average income of under $50,000. Nor are they easy. They are: clergy, firefighter, special education teacher and travel agent.
Just some food for thought.
Check out the Oprah / Goldie Hawn "Are You Happy" Quiz, which ends with all the factoids.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thoughts from the Auto Show
This weekend we had an impromptu date to the Midlands Auto Show this weekend. For those not in Omaha, this is sort of an auto show for actual car buyers. Manufacturers display current or upcoming models, with sticker prices displayed, and you can sit in the car or kick the tires and fend off the sales pitch.
We're not really in the market for a new car. I wanted to sit in and check out the Nissan Leaf, but for some reason Nissan was not participating. The Chevy Volt was on display, but not where you could sit in it (or touch it, for that matter). Perhaps because we weren't really focusing on what we wanted, my mind had time to wander, and I came away with quite a few thoughts.
First off, I thought it was interesting to see the different things he and I found important in a car. He was listening to the sound of the door close and quite literally kicking the tires. I was checking out how comfortable the seats were (and whether or not I could see over the steering wheel!), and looking at the dashboard displays and opening up all the cubbies and storage areas. He was looking for a car that would last. I was looking for a car that would be useful.
Needless to say, we had a few differences of opinion, but there was one glaring fact. Not being a car person, I must admit that makes and models mean nothing to me and I had no idea which cars were the big ticket items and which were the "first car out of college" models, until after I had looked at the sticker - which I generally did after I had sat in the car and formed my own opinion.
The glaring fact? Price had very little to do with value or desirability. The $30,000 SUV would have been my choice over the $80,000 model. The $95,000 car seemed ugly, had very uncomfortable seats, and the dashboard display seemed cluttered to me. No thank you.
I also found it interesting that for all our talk of downsizing and improving gas mileage, etc, the ratio of big, over-sized vehicles with crappy gas mileage that were on display, compared to the number of smaller cars or mid-sized but efficient cars.
And my LAST thought on this is a continued complaint to the maker's of the SMART cars:
We're not really in the market for a new car. I wanted to sit in and check out the Nissan Leaf, but for some reason Nissan was not participating. The Chevy Volt was on display, but not where you could sit in it (or touch it, for that matter). Perhaps because we weren't really focusing on what we wanted, my mind had time to wander, and I came away with quite a few thoughts.
First off, I thought it was interesting to see the different things he and I found important in a car. He was listening to the sound of the door close and quite literally kicking the tires. I was checking out how comfortable the seats were (and whether or not I could see over the steering wheel!), and looking at the dashboard displays and opening up all the cubbies and storage areas. He was looking for a car that would last. I was looking for a car that would be useful.
Needless to say, we had a few differences of opinion, but there was one glaring fact. Not being a car person, I must admit that makes and models mean nothing to me and I had no idea which cars were the big ticket items and which were the "first car out of college" models, until after I had looked at the sticker - which I generally did after I had sat in the car and formed my own opinion.
The glaring fact? Price had very little to do with value or desirability. The $30,000 SUV would have been my choice over the $80,000 model. The $95,000 car seemed ugly, had very uncomfortable seats, and the dashboard display seemed cluttered to me. No thank you.
I also found it interesting that for all our talk of downsizing and improving gas mileage, etc, the ratio of big, over-sized vehicles with crappy gas mileage that were on display, compared to the number of smaller cars or mid-sized but efficient cars.
And my LAST thought on this is a continued complaint to the maker's of the SMART cars:
I like your car. Seriously. I think its cute and I love that it would easily fit into our 1940's width driveway and would be easy to park and it really is all I need for running from home to work and grabbing a few groceries. And, I am as impressed as everyone else with all the videos of fat guys and big guys getting into your tiny car. However, for three years now I have checked out the newest models. I have climbed in expecting a feeling of "rightness" and an overpowering urge to run out and by your amazing and funny little car. Sadly, I am not BIG ENOUGH to drive your stupid little car. Can I see over your dashboards? NO! I am glad you got rid of the stupid pop-up speedometer that REALLY blocked the view, but come on. And would a tilt steering wheel kill you?
Monday, January 24, 2011
Start Saving Already
I get frustrated when experts tell us to put aside 10% to savings or "even just $10." These are usually the same people telling us to assign every dollar. So what is the assignment for the $10? There was never any motivation there for me to save anything before I was completely out of debt, and I literally had enough money left at the end of the month that I felt stupid NOT moving it to a savings account to earn some interest.
The term "emergency" fund was even worse, for me. The guilt at using that money!! Who and what defines an "emergency"?!? Your car insurance came due and you didn't have the cash? This isn't an emergency, you knew it was coming. You want to drive six hours to spend Thanksgiving with your family? Again, NOT an emergency! And now they tell you "oh, not just $1000, but $3000, or 3 months of living expenses, or six months, or a year!"
I believe the biggest reason I did not start fully funding my retirement account as soon as I got out of debt was that I felt every penny needed to go into savings, for the emergency fund, and any time I USED any of MY money from savings, I felt guilt. Lots and lots of guilt.
Eventually, I adopted a "Christmas Club" mentality to savings. I have only a small emergency fund these days, but in my savings account I have money labeled for just about every possibility I could think of. Most important, this allows me to spend MY money, guilt-free, on the items I have saved for.
I took off, for two weeks. Drove across the country. Ate out, shopped, wasted fuel. Guilt-free, because the money came out of my "travel" money and my "home decor" money and my "clothing" money.
It's like the envelope system for those of us who like earning interest.
If you're not saving, or you're only putting money into your "e-fund," read on:
January is almost over. On February first, 2011 will be 1/12 of the way through. More than 8% of this year will have flown by and yes, it is far enough along to look at your goals for the year.
I don't care if you are still in debt, just out of debt, or well into your life of savings, you should sort out your "Christmas Club" donation and start it, now, while there is still time to make your January donation.
I say it's not just for Christmas, because I use it as a savings plan for all the crap that hits us all at the end of the year.
How much money did you spend on non-budgeted items between Halloween and New Years in 2010?
Candy and decorations for Halloween? Costumes? Thanksgiving food? Food for the work potluck? Travel? Cards and postage and decorations and lights and electricity? Christmas trees and Hanukkah candles? How much was your Festivus pole? More food for home and cookies and more potlucks and parties and new outfits and nights out and travel, and travel. And travel. Increased daycare and babysitter's fees when the kids are not in school but you are at work? Donations and "tip bonuses" to everyone from the doorman to the hair salon? Oh. And gifts. Don't forget gifts. Along with wrapping paper, bows, more cards. (aka "gift tags")
I am a cheapskate who buys Christmas cards in January from the $1 pile, with no children to buy for, and I still have to budget what is basically a week and a half of take home pay for the holiday season each year.
If you are not setting money aside SPECIFICALLY for the last 2-3 months of the year, you will not feel happy financially on January 1, 2012.
You might not go in debt over it. You might just feel like you had to use savings you didn't want to spend on that. You might, as I have done in years past, empty your emergency fund to buy presents and feel horribly guilty. Or you might choose to participate in none of the money-sucking activities and just feel a bit guilty about that.
So how do you make sure you end 2011 on a good note financially?
Do a rough add-up in your head and decide how much you think you spent. Some people might spend less then I do, many others spend much more.
So, mine is $700 per year. $700 divided by 12 is roughly $60 per month.
So I need to set aside $60 per month to make the holidays how I want them. Just over the cost of one tank of gas for me, roughly. I can do that, without even noticing. I take it out automatically the day after I get paid.
If you look at the number and you CAN'T take that money out every month and still survive, you spent too much on the holidays. Sorry. Save what you can and think about cutting back on the cards or the travel or the food or the presents (or a bit of all of it) next year, until you're back on track and have the money to buy the things you want.
So that's all there is to the Christmas Club.
Once you get into the habit of focused saving, you can find other things to save for.
I don't have a car payment, so I put $200 per month into the "new car" fund....admittedly, this is the fund that I neglect to pay whenever the monthly budget looks tight, but I have still managed to put enough away that if my car dies tomorrow I can at least get "something" that will run. Every month that goes by puts me a bit closer to a "decent" car. If my beloved Aztek holds out for long enough, I'll have the cash for a "nice" car.
I also have a wardrobe fund for the day I reach my elusive "goal" weight (robbed regularly for tops that look cute in my "now" weight!), and a home decor fund - which I somehow justified purchasing a new computer with earlier this year.
Every person is going to have different funds and different time lines, which will determine how much you set aside. I set different "maximum" amounts, as well. I want $20,000 in the new car fund before the Aztek dies, but that doesn't mean I am trying to put away $1,667 per month!
Assign your money to your goals or your run-of-the-mill expenses. Put $5 per month into your "trip to Australia" fund or $100 per month into your "visit Teresa" fund.
Just start saving already!
The term "emergency" fund was even worse, for me. The guilt at using that money!! Who and what defines an "emergency"?!? Your car insurance came due and you didn't have the cash? This isn't an emergency, you knew it was coming. You want to drive six hours to spend Thanksgiving with your family? Again, NOT an emergency! And now they tell you "oh, not just $1000, but $3000, or 3 months of living expenses, or six months, or a year!"
I believe the biggest reason I did not start fully funding my retirement account as soon as I got out of debt was that I felt every penny needed to go into savings, for the emergency fund, and any time I USED any of MY money from savings, I felt guilt. Lots and lots of guilt.
Eventually, I adopted a "Christmas Club" mentality to savings. I have only a small emergency fund these days, but in my savings account I have money labeled for just about every possibility I could think of. Most important, this allows me to spend MY money, guilt-free, on the items I have saved for.
I took off, for two weeks. Drove across the country. Ate out, shopped, wasted fuel. Guilt-free, because the money came out of my "travel" money and my "home decor" money and my "clothing" money.
It's like the envelope system for those of us who like earning interest.
If you're not saving, or you're only putting money into your "e-fund," read on:
January is almost over. On February first, 2011 will be 1/12 of the way through. More than 8% of this year will have flown by and yes, it is far enough along to look at your goals for the year.
I don't care if you are still in debt, just out of debt, or well into your life of savings, you should sort out your "Christmas Club" donation and start it, now, while there is still time to make your January donation.
I say it's not just for Christmas, because I use it as a savings plan for all the crap that hits us all at the end of the year.
How much money did you spend on non-budgeted items between Halloween and New Years in 2010?
Candy and decorations for Halloween? Costumes? Thanksgiving food? Food for the work potluck? Travel? Cards and postage and decorations and lights and electricity? Christmas trees and Hanukkah candles? How much was your Festivus pole? More food for home and cookies and more potlucks and parties and new outfits and nights out and travel, and travel. And travel. Increased daycare and babysitter's fees when the kids are not in school but you are at work? Donations and "tip bonuses" to everyone from the doorman to the hair salon? Oh. And gifts. Don't forget gifts. Along with wrapping paper, bows, more cards. (aka "gift tags")
I am a cheapskate who buys Christmas cards in January from the $1 pile, with no children to buy for, and I still have to budget what is basically a week and a half of take home pay for the holiday season each year.
If you are not setting money aside SPECIFICALLY for the last 2-3 months of the year, you will not feel happy financially on January 1, 2012.
You might not go in debt over it. You might just feel like you had to use savings you didn't want to spend on that. You might, as I have done in years past, empty your emergency fund to buy presents and feel horribly guilty. Or you might choose to participate in none of the money-sucking activities and just feel a bit guilty about that.
So how do you make sure you end 2011 on a good note financially?
Do a rough add-up in your head and decide how much you think you spent. Some people might spend less then I do, many others spend much more.
So, mine is $700 per year. $700 divided by 12 is roughly $60 per month.
So I need to set aside $60 per month to make the holidays how I want them. Just over the cost of one tank of gas for me, roughly. I can do that, without even noticing. I take it out automatically the day after I get paid.
If you look at the number and you CAN'T take that money out every month and still survive, you spent too much on the holidays. Sorry. Save what you can and think about cutting back on the cards or the travel or the food or the presents (or a bit of all of it) next year, until you're back on track and have the money to buy the things you want.
So that's all there is to the Christmas Club.
Once you get into the habit of focused saving, you can find other things to save for.
I don't have a car payment, so I put $200 per month into the "new car" fund....admittedly, this is the fund that I neglect to pay whenever the monthly budget looks tight, but I have still managed to put enough away that if my car dies tomorrow I can at least get "something" that will run. Every month that goes by puts me a bit closer to a "decent" car. If my beloved Aztek holds out for long enough, I'll have the cash for a "nice" car.
I also have a wardrobe fund for the day I reach my elusive "goal" weight (robbed regularly for tops that look cute in my "now" weight!), and a home decor fund - which I somehow justified purchasing a new computer with earlier this year.
Every person is going to have different funds and different time lines, which will determine how much you set aside. I set different "maximum" amounts, as well. I want $20,000 in the new car fund before the Aztek dies, but that doesn't mean I am trying to put away $1,667 per month!
Assign your money to your goals or your run-of-the-mill expenses. Put $5 per month into your "trip to Australia" fund or $100 per month into your "visit Teresa" fund.
Just start saving already!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Looking for something to do on a Sunday afternoon?
Little article on "Shine" highlighting some things we ALL have too much of:
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/18-things-you-can-get-rid-of-today-2440361/
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/18-things-you-can-get-rid-of-today-2440361/
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Smartest People I Know Don't Talk Too Loud
I've known a few people in my day who were pretty dumb.
More specifically, I've known a few people who were extremely dumb financially.
In fact, if I look back at my own life, I can point out more than one moment where I was quite dumb, myself. Financially speaking, of course.
Finding the people who aren't making wise choices financially are EASY to find. They are complaining over drinks that they aren't sure where the car payment is coming from...but they'll buy the next round.
They are in the office break room complaining about the rising price of gas and making plans on where they are running out to lunch.
In fact, the more you educate yourself about financial matters, the more dumb choices shout out at you until you wonder why EVERYONE you know is foolishly wasting their money on EVERYTHING! When you are 100% committed to getting out of debt or paying cash for an upcoming major purchase, you can hardly visit even your closest friends, because they are sure to have a new outfit, a new decoration, an over-priced dish soap or SOMETHING that will make you cringe and want to say, "you know, vinegar would have cost 1/5 the price of that handi-wipe and would have cleaned just as well."
Your tongue bleeds some days, trying to hold it back and save your friendships!
I've been thinking, though, about the smartest people I know financially.
I've been thinking about how my parents saved up enough over the years to pay for a house, in cash, while never much talking about it or obsessing about it or pouring over financial advice books. They just did it.
About all those post-Great Depression folks (we've all known a few), who cringe when you throw away a sandwich baggie because it can totally be reused again tomorrow! Who don't need anyone to tell them to cook at home or reuse or shop at garage sales.
One of my closest friends and her husband have quietly been building a life for themselves. A single-income family of four. A two-car family. A family that takes vacations regularly. A family where the children want for nothing and closets over-flow after holidays and birthdays. A family with "big kid toys" like snowmobiles and mountain bikes. A life where they will have their home fully paid for before they are 35 years old.
Quietly, steadily, they pay for things in cash. They put a bit away here and a bit away there. Make an extra payment. Work a bit of overtime and assign that money to the mortgage before it's hit the checking account.
They did not start life out with silver spoons in their mouth. They were not given more than I was, more than you were. They have not have easy, stress-free lives. There have been illnesses and stresses and all the life things that interfere with us all.
Most interesting, though, to me, is that they don't much talk about it, either. They will commiserate with how hard it is to stick to a budget, while quietly living well-below their means. They will nod in understanding about how much mortgage payments cut into living expenses, while painlessly doubling their own payments.
They aren't living in a post-Depression era where things cost less and people seemed to want for less.
They ARE living in a world where so many believe "you NEED a cell phone and cable and GPS and internet and MP3 players and unlimited text messaging and a netbook and an e-book reader!" and where "everyone" had a VCR, I mean, DVDs, or is it Blu-Rays, no, it's streaming internet through their gaming systems!
They don't talk about it much, but when they do I am also floored. Impressed. Aghast. I want to live with them for a year and learn their secrets. I want to grow up to be just like them.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Strength in Numbers
It's hard to admit you're broke. It shouldn't be, since so many people are, and usually through no (or little) fault of their own. Even around our closest friends and family, it's hard to simply say, "I can't afford that."
Even though it shouldn't be hard, it is, and it's not really all that surprising to realize that.
What I have found interesting on my journey, though, is how hard it is to admit that you're becoming unbroke.
If you think about it, there are MORE people becoming unbroke then there are broke!
Partners on this journey are all around.
There are those who were broke, at one time or another...and that could be as a child, or as a recent college grad. It could mean that, like me, there was a bankruptcy, or it could just mean there was the fear and the feeling of scraping by. It could be moving back home or borrowing from friends and family. It could be people who lacked a budget and didn't realize they were "overspending" or it could be people who made a series of bad decisions (which is where I put myself), or even the people who made one bad decision. It could be the people who didn't have all that much choice in the matter - who were "broken" by a job loss, an illness, a divorce.
All of these people are all around you, and they were once broke. And I truly believe that the journey to unbroke is never-ending. I would love to believe that someday spending money on nice things, things I want but don't need....on pickles....will come easier. Will occur without guilt.
But I do not believe that I will ever again spend money with the same ease I did before I was broke. Once you've been broke, you're a club member for life.
However, the ex-broke are not the only people who are on this journey.
There are also all those people who knew someone like me and said "oh, crap, I don't want to be like that" and immediately started their own emergency funds. Those who were taught to be frugal or were smart enough to figure it out on their own. Those who had a scare or two or who were really bored and watched Suze Orman on PBS or one too many episodes of "Til Debt Do Us Part" and couldn't help but force themselves to write a budget. Those who found a copy of one of the "Finish Rich" books and got on program.
All of us are living on a budget. All of us are planning what we spend and working to save where we can. All of us are looking for a bargain, thinking about the future, and objecting to the clutter, the stuff, the ever-increasing list of "stuff" we must have.
In the past week or two I have heard from a surprising number of people who've said "oh, I don't have cable, either" or "oh, I remember when I was so broke that...." People who have surprised me when they tell me they enjoy what I have written, and that one thing or another has seemed to speak to them directly.
I wonder, sometimes, if I am writing this blog to get the thoughts out of my head, or if I am writing for other people. I feel a bit scattered most nights when I sit down to write.
I wonder if this should turn into an advice blog. A how-to, which is certainly the type of blog that has mass commercial appeal on the Internet. I do have more than a few tips on living on nothing, afterall. When I think to do that, though, I object. I object to the idea of once again immersing myself in a world where spending is bad and happy is making due.
I've come to learn that maybe there are a few other people out there, like me, who don't need any more advice on HOW to spend less or save more. We know it already, or are bombarded with the tips and tricks everytime we turn on the computer, turn to the television, or open the newspaper.
Perhaps all we need, all I need, is just the occasional reminder not to let my guard down. Not to slack off from frugality completely....and the reassurance that I am not the only one who balks at modern-day gluttony...while wishing I was innocent enough to enjoy it.
Even though it shouldn't be hard, it is, and it's not really all that surprising to realize that.
What I have found interesting on my journey, though, is how hard it is to admit that you're becoming unbroke.
If you think about it, there are MORE people becoming unbroke then there are broke!
Partners on this journey are all around.
There are those who were broke, at one time or another...and that could be as a child, or as a recent college grad. It could mean that, like me, there was a bankruptcy, or it could just mean there was the fear and the feeling of scraping by. It could be moving back home or borrowing from friends and family. It could be people who lacked a budget and didn't realize they were "overspending" or it could be people who made a series of bad decisions (which is where I put myself), or even the people who made one bad decision. It could be the people who didn't have all that much choice in the matter - who were "broken" by a job loss, an illness, a divorce.
All of these people are all around you, and they were once broke. And I truly believe that the journey to unbroke is never-ending. I would love to believe that someday spending money on nice things, things I want but don't need....on pickles....will come easier. Will occur without guilt.
But I do not believe that I will ever again spend money with the same ease I did before I was broke. Once you've been broke, you're a club member for life.
However, the ex-broke are not the only people who are on this journey.
There are also all those people who knew someone like me and said "oh, crap, I don't want to be like that" and immediately started their own emergency funds. Those who were taught to be frugal or were smart enough to figure it out on their own. Those who had a scare or two or who were really bored and watched Suze Orman on PBS or one too many episodes of "Til Debt Do Us Part" and couldn't help but force themselves to write a budget. Those who found a copy of one of the "Finish Rich" books and got on program.
All of us are living on a budget. All of us are planning what we spend and working to save where we can. All of us are looking for a bargain, thinking about the future, and objecting to the clutter, the stuff, the ever-increasing list of "stuff" we must have.
In the past week or two I have heard from a surprising number of people who've said "oh, I don't have cable, either" or "oh, I remember when I was so broke that...." People who have surprised me when they tell me they enjoy what I have written, and that one thing or another has seemed to speak to them directly.
I wonder, sometimes, if I am writing this blog to get the thoughts out of my head, or if I am writing for other people. I feel a bit scattered most nights when I sit down to write.
I wonder if this should turn into an advice blog. A how-to, which is certainly the type of blog that has mass commercial appeal on the Internet. I do have more than a few tips on living on nothing, afterall. When I think to do that, though, I object. I object to the idea of once again immersing myself in a world where spending is bad and happy is making due.
I've come to learn that maybe there are a few other people out there, like me, who don't need any more advice on HOW to spend less or save more. We know it already, or are bombarded with the tips and tricks everytime we turn on the computer, turn to the television, or open the newspaper.
Perhaps all we need, all I need, is just the occasional reminder not to let my guard down. Not to slack off from frugality completely....and the reassurance that I am not the only one who balks at modern-day gluttony...while wishing I was innocent enough to enjoy it.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Shopping Like You're Broke = Disappointment
Shopping wisely is always a good idea.
Shopping frugally is the way to get ahead.
Making sure you're getting a good deal is just good sense, and only buying what you actually WANT will help lead you to a stress-free, clutter-free existance.
However, shopping like you are broke will only lead you to disappointment.
Broke shopping means you only get the item that is cheapest.
Broke shopping means you run out the day you absolutely positively NEED something, and you buy it at the store you think will have it the cheapest.
Broke shopping means you assume you will never have the money to get what you actually want, so there's no reason not to grab this other random item that will get the job done.
I remember my days of being broke. Of shopping broke. Of getting so disgusted with my purchases that I eventully stopped buying anything. In fact, the first time my boyfriend gave me a gift card, he then had to strong-arm me into spending it, any of it, on anything. There was just nothing I "needed" enough to trust myself to buy anything.
Over time, though, I lost the "shopping like you're broke" mentality.
I didn't overcome it: I simply overpowered it.
I had savings, savings that were earmarked for different expenditures, so that I could force myself into buying something. Afterall, if you have $200 set aside in an account marked "clothes" how can you reasonably argue that you can't spend $40 on a new top?
But if I was going to buy it, it was going to be what I wanted - so I spent time once again "shopping" different stores, looking around, trying on. I discovered there are affordable things even in the name brand stores I hadn't ventured into in years. I was frugal, I was seeking a good bargain, but I no longer had that air of desperation that comes with broke shopping.
That sense of somehow failing because I had to buy any item that I hadn't planned to buy when I created my budget was gone.
In fact, when it came time to buy a new computer, and I wanted the $800 one, not the $300 one, I walked out of the store. I continued to look at ads and reviews and be sure it was the one I wanted and I continued to put away money, until the day it was selling for $750 instead of $800, and I could walk in and buy it with cash. With only a small amount of guilt over the expense.
If I hadn't fallen back into old habits, I might have never thought about shopping broke ever again.
As I have mentioned, I joined a gym. I would like to lose weight, and although that hasn't happened, I have managed to lose a shoe size and a half. That's right, in the span of about two months, every pair of shoes I owned suddenly became too big.
For a while, I got buy with sneakers, laces pulled extra tight. Then, when the cold weather came, I purchased a very nice pair of winter boots, which I adore and were well worth the money. They were definitely NOT a broke purchase.
I made myself go to Payless because I thought that my co-workers might start to think it odd I was wearing sneakers every day, with business dress. There were an adorable pair of shoes, only about $20. They were black and white-checked and business appropriate and I can wear them with black slacks or gray slacks or even navy. These were inexpensive but I was not broke shopping.
I came up with a brilliant idea (or so I convinced myself) -- I would find a pair of brown shoes, and those two pairs would get me through the coming months. I can wear brown with browns and tans and the checked with blacks and grays and blues! I would keep these two pairs at the office, wear the boots outside. I would be the Mr. Rogers of Shoes!!! Slippers at home, then sneakers at the gym, boots to the office, dress shoes at work, back into boots and home to slippers! Brilliant!
The only problem was I didn't like the brown shoe collection at Payless that day. Or at any of the other stores at the mall that day. I didn't want to spend too much, mind you, because these were just "transition" shoes....who knows how much more my feet will shrink?!?!
So when I happened by the brown shoes at Wal-Mart, on clearance no less, I didn't think about it much. I bought them fast and I left, excited at the low price I had paid.
It's only now, when I have to put on the shoes that pinch one toe until I fear there will be blood; shoes made out of some strange padded-vinyl material that explains to me exactly why people rave about shoes that allow their "feet to breath," only now do I remember the disappointments that come when you buy broke.
Shopping frugally is the way to get ahead.
Making sure you're getting a good deal is just good sense, and only buying what you actually WANT will help lead you to a stress-free, clutter-free existance.
However, shopping like you are broke will only lead you to disappointment.
Broke shopping means you only get the item that is cheapest.
Broke shopping means you run out the day you absolutely positively NEED something, and you buy it at the store you think will have it the cheapest.
Broke shopping means you assume you will never have the money to get what you actually want, so there's no reason not to grab this other random item that will get the job done.
I remember my days of being broke. Of shopping broke. Of getting so disgusted with my purchases that I eventully stopped buying anything. In fact, the first time my boyfriend gave me a gift card, he then had to strong-arm me into spending it, any of it, on anything. There was just nothing I "needed" enough to trust myself to buy anything.
Over time, though, I lost the "shopping like you're broke" mentality.
I didn't overcome it: I simply overpowered it.
I had savings, savings that were earmarked for different expenditures, so that I could force myself into buying something. Afterall, if you have $200 set aside in an account marked "clothes" how can you reasonably argue that you can't spend $40 on a new top?
But if I was going to buy it, it was going to be what I wanted - so I spent time once again "shopping" different stores, looking around, trying on. I discovered there are affordable things even in the name brand stores I hadn't ventured into in years. I was frugal, I was seeking a good bargain, but I no longer had that air of desperation that comes with broke shopping.
That sense of somehow failing because I had to buy any item that I hadn't planned to buy when I created my budget was gone.
In fact, when it came time to buy a new computer, and I wanted the $800 one, not the $300 one, I walked out of the store. I continued to look at ads and reviews and be sure it was the one I wanted and I continued to put away money, until the day it was selling for $750 instead of $800, and I could walk in and buy it with cash. With only a small amount of guilt over the expense.
If I hadn't fallen back into old habits, I might have never thought about shopping broke ever again.
As I have mentioned, I joined a gym. I would like to lose weight, and although that hasn't happened, I have managed to lose a shoe size and a half. That's right, in the span of about two months, every pair of shoes I owned suddenly became too big.
For a while, I got buy with sneakers, laces pulled extra tight. Then, when the cold weather came, I purchased a very nice pair of winter boots, which I adore and were well worth the money. They were definitely NOT a broke purchase.
I made myself go to Payless because I thought that my co-workers might start to think it odd I was wearing sneakers every day, with business dress. There were an adorable pair of shoes, only about $20. They were black and white-checked and business appropriate and I can wear them with black slacks or gray slacks or even navy. These were inexpensive but I was not broke shopping.
I came up with a brilliant idea (or so I convinced myself) -- I would find a pair of brown shoes, and those two pairs would get me through the coming months. I can wear brown with browns and tans and the checked with blacks and grays and blues! I would keep these two pairs at the office, wear the boots outside. I would be the Mr. Rogers of Shoes!!! Slippers at home, then sneakers at the gym, boots to the office, dress shoes at work, back into boots and home to slippers! Brilliant!
The only problem was I didn't like the brown shoe collection at Payless that day. Or at any of the other stores at the mall that day. I didn't want to spend too much, mind you, because these were just "transition" shoes....who knows how much more my feet will shrink?!?!
So when I happened by the brown shoes at Wal-Mart, on clearance no less, I didn't think about it much. I bought them fast and I left, excited at the low price I had paid.
It's only now, when I have to put on the shoes that pinch one toe until I fear there will be blood; shoes made out of some strange padded-vinyl material that explains to me exactly why people rave about shoes that allow their "feet to breath," only now do I remember the disappointments that come when you buy broke.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Another Bill Comes, Good this time
We've been going through a change in our household in recent months, a change in television viewing. More importantly, a change in television availability.
First, some background.
When I lived alone, I did not have cable. Originally, of course, that was because I could not afford it. When I could afford it, however, I signed up for cable . . .and it happened to be one of those months where every time I turned on the television, something amazing was on PBS. So every time I turned on the television I wanted to watch PBS, but I would not let myself, because I refused to watch "free" television when I was "paying" for channels. After a month, I cancelled my cable. In fact, for the last six months of living alone, I also did not have Internet at home. (Yes, I am aware that makes me technologically backward)
When "free" television made the transition to "digital" television (resulting in the need to buy a $50 converter box, for which the government was nice enough to give each household two $40 coupons. You could buy two boxes for $10 each, but you could not buy one box for free and save the government $30.) I came very close to giving up my television completely. Some sort of moral opposition to having to pay $10 in order to continue to receive "free" television. However, by that time it was too late and Goodwill would no longer let me donate my television.
So, you get the idea. I am a technologically backward, cheap individual, who would prefer to spend little to no time in front of the television.
When I moved in with my boyfriend, he had Internet and cable and high-definition channels and could DVR and never watch commercials or miss a show, ever. He had multiple Showtimes and channels from 1 to 899, with 50 or so music channels beyond that. He also had a television that is wider than I am tall.
I must admit, I got with the program, no problem. For hours I was happy to sit with the laptop warming my legs and the television filling my eyes.
Hours.
Days.
Weekends.
Months flew by with my having "no time" to get anything done or any books read, but suddenly I knew what was happening, even on shows I "don't watch."
So when he mentioned he wanted to cut back on expenses, I was happy to volunteer to call the cable company. We would get rid of a few channels and gain back some of our lives!
He went out and bought an antennae for the television and did a "test run" of life without cable. The channels that came in were clear and crisp - better then cable, in fact. Unfortunately, there were only two of them. Although that seemed ideal to me, he deemed no cable "not happening." Instead of calling to cancel, I called to haggle.
Oh, but that cable company is tricky, and we were weak. "I can't eliminate anything, but I can give you these 50 channels for free for six months." Hmmm.... A month later, I tested my resolve again. The response was "I can reduce the cost of Showtime to half what you are paying, and give you these other 200 channels for free for five months."
Yes, I am weak, I admit it. We continued to pay a $120 cable bill each month, and he learned to regret that I now had "Style" network....and unlimited episodes of "Clean House!"
But all good things must end, and a month ago the bill came, with no promotional pricing.
$160 later, he was prepared to try a higher quality antennae, which provided us with 11 channels...if the wind blows the right way, we'll get up to 18.
We said goodbye to cable television.
For a month we have watched, or attempted to watch, network television. During a snowstorm our choices were limited to one channel, and we discovered Redbox and it's $1 movie rentals. At night, 7.2, which is a local weather channel, replays "Dr. Oz" while the weather is limited to a side bar. I have watched more "Dr. Oz" then I would have imagined watching in a lifetime.
Each time the signal fades, and the stupid "digital" television froze and we missed the key scene, I would cringe and just think "don't get cable back yet, wait until you see the bill."
Today, the bill came. We made it.
At $47, the new bill is a vast improvement over the old bill. Improvement enough, that I do believe this house will remain cable-television-free.
First, some background.
When I lived alone, I did not have cable. Originally, of course, that was because I could not afford it. When I could afford it, however, I signed up for cable . . .and it happened to be one of those months where every time I turned on the television, something amazing was on PBS. So every time I turned on the television I wanted to watch PBS, but I would not let myself, because I refused to watch "free" television when I was "paying" for channels. After a month, I cancelled my cable. In fact, for the last six months of living alone, I also did not have Internet at home. (Yes, I am aware that makes me technologically backward)
When "free" television made the transition to "digital" television (resulting in the need to buy a $50 converter box, for which the government was nice enough to give each household two $40 coupons. You could buy two boxes for $10 each, but you could not buy one box for free and save the government $30.) I came very close to giving up my television completely. Some sort of moral opposition to having to pay $10 in order to continue to receive "free" television. However, by that time it was too late and Goodwill would no longer let me donate my television.
So, you get the idea. I am a technologically backward, cheap individual, who would prefer to spend little to no time in front of the television.
When I moved in with my boyfriend, he had Internet and cable and high-definition channels and could DVR and never watch commercials or miss a show, ever. He had multiple Showtimes and channels from 1 to 899, with 50 or so music channels beyond that. He also had a television that is wider than I am tall.
I must admit, I got with the program, no problem. For hours I was happy to sit with the laptop warming my legs and the television filling my eyes.
Hours.
Days.
Weekends.
Months flew by with my having "no time" to get anything done or any books read, but suddenly I knew what was happening, even on shows I "don't watch."
So when he mentioned he wanted to cut back on expenses, I was happy to volunteer to call the cable company. We would get rid of a few channels and gain back some of our lives!
He went out and bought an antennae for the television and did a "test run" of life without cable. The channels that came in were clear and crisp - better then cable, in fact. Unfortunately, there were only two of them. Although that seemed ideal to me, he deemed no cable "not happening." Instead of calling to cancel, I called to haggle.
Oh, but that cable company is tricky, and we were weak. "I can't eliminate anything, but I can give you these 50 channels for free for six months." Hmmm.... A month later, I tested my resolve again. The response was "I can reduce the cost of Showtime to half what you are paying, and give you these other 200 channels for free for five months."
Yes, I am weak, I admit it. We continued to pay a $120 cable bill each month, and he learned to regret that I now had "Style" network....and unlimited episodes of "Clean House!"
But all good things must end, and a month ago the bill came, with no promotional pricing.
$160 later, he was prepared to try a higher quality antennae, which provided us with 11 channels...if the wind blows the right way, we'll get up to 18.
We said goodbye to cable television.
For a month we have watched, or attempted to watch, network television. During a snowstorm our choices were limited to one channel, and we discovered Redbox and it's $1 movie rentals. At night, 7.2, which is a local weather channel, replays "Dr. Oz" while the weather is limited to a side bar. I have watched more "Dr. Oz" then I would have imagined watching in a lifetime.
Each time the signal fades, and the stupid "digital" television froze and we missed the key scene, I would cringe and just think "don't get cable back yet, wait until you see the bill."
Today, the bill came. We made it.
At $47, the new bill is a vast improvement over the old bill. Improvement enough, that I do believe this house will remain cable-television-free.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
15th of January
Yesterday was the 15th of January. Halfway through the month. 1/24th of the way through the year.
If you want to save $5000 in 2011, you should have set about $200 ($208.33, specifically) aside so far. $50 will net you $1200 this year.
So far my year is pretty much on track.
2010's medical bills are paid off (not counting the $5.28 question), with no more on the horizon. Not only that, but I know there were a few small bills I paid out of pocket, so I when I do my taxes and pull all those receipts, I will actually pay myself a bit back from my HSA.
My spending is about where I want it to be - I actually spent a little bit less then budgeted in the first 15 days of the year - and there are pickles in the pantry.
There's a few purchases coming up that will probably hurt - not because I don't have the money for them, but because I am simply not used to spending it on anything other then bills. The toaster is about dead - which really isn't so bad, given that I have had it so long I believe it cost me $1 per year. We're re-doing the office, and talk of bookshelves and a new office chair has been floating around our home for a week now.
Tomorrow morning, $416 will be automatically withdrawn from my account - this is the amount that goes to the ROTH IRA to fully fund that ($5000 per year) - and even that amount, which is nearly 25% of my monthly take home pay, won't make me blink.
I wouldn't say I have $200 toward my regular savings from the first 24th of the year, but my budget is such that there is more left over at the end of the month then there is at the 15th, so I am telling myself I am on track there, too.
I've spent the weekend focusing on some not-really-financial things. Health-wise, I am not 1/24th of the way toward my 2011 "weight loss goals" (is anyone?), so I spent some time setting my plan and goals there. Organization-wise, as I mentioned in another post, is a constant process, so there's always a few things to give away or sort through....haven't gotten to anything in 2011, though, unfortunately.
We're 1/24th of the way through the year. The laundry is done, the dishes are done. Lunch is packed for the Monday morning that will come too early, and there are groceries to aid us in eating healthy and stress free for the next week. So I can look around, relax a bit, and listen to the bed when it calls my name.
If you want to save $5000 in 2011, you should have set about $200 ($208.33, specifically) aside so far. $50 will net you $1200 this year.
So far my year is pretty much on track.
2010's medical bills are paid off (not counting the $5.28 question), with no more on the horizon. Not only that, but I know there were a few small bills I paid out of pocket, so I when I do my taxes and pull all those receipts, I will actually pay myself a bit back from my HSA.
My spending is about where I want it to be - I actually spent a little bit less then budgeted in the first 15 days of the year - and there are pickles in the pantry.
There's a few purchases coming up that will probably hurt - not because I don't have the money for them, but because I am simply not used to spending it on anything other then bills. The toaster is about dead - which really isn't so bad, given that I have had it so long I believe it cost me $1 per year. We're re-doing the office, and talk of bookshelves and a new office chair has been floating around our home for a week now.
Tomorrow morning, $416 will be automatically withdrawn from my account - this is the amount that goes to the ROTH IRA to fully fund that ($5000 per year) - and even that amount, which is nearly 25% of my monthly take home pay, won't make me blink.
I wouldn't say I have $200 toward my regular savings from the first 24th of the year, but my budget is such that there is more left over at the end of the month then there is at the 15th, so I am telling myself I am on track there, too.
I've spent the weekend focusing on some not-really-financial things. Health-wise, I am not 1/24th of the way toward my 2011 "weight loss goals" (is anyone?), so I spent some time setting my plan and goals there. Organization-wise, as I mentioned in another post, is a constant process, so there's always a few things to give away or sort through....haven't gotten to anything in 2011, though, unfortunately.
We're 1/24th of the way through the year. The laundry is done, the dishes are done. Lunch is packed for the Monday morning that will come too early, and there are groceries to aid us in eating healthy and stress free for the next week. So I can look around, relax a bit, and listen to the bed when it calls my name.
What will it cost me?
Okay, first of all, I am one of those people who brings cloth bags to the grocery store.
I do this for a variety of reasons. First and foremost that he makes me (something about the environment?). Following that, there's the 5 cents per bag I save for bringing my own. (Incidentally, at No Frills, at least, you can actually bring your own used plastic sacks and they will still give you the 5 cents.)
An added benefit is that I no longer have a surplus of plastic bags EVERYWHERE in my home and vehicle and desk at work, which is very nice. I forget my cloth bags just often enough that I still have plastic bags on hand when needed, but I don't have trash bags filled with plastic bags desperate for a purpose.
I do sort of get the whole environmental thing, as well. After all, I can go in and buy 3 items and somehow they pack them in eight grocery bags. I've never figured out how they do that.
BUT I HAVE A RANT.
I am now at the point where I am willing to PAY the baggers in cash if they will just pack each cloth bag so that it weighs less then I do!
Explain to me how I can buy $90 worth of groceries and they all fit into two bags? I mean, I brought five bags into the store with me, so they actually handed me back three empty bags.
And this is not the first time they have done this. I don't know if I am being punished for not using their bags (which they clearly like to give away, because if I had NOT brought in cloth bags, these same $90 worth of groceries would have filled fifteen plastic bags and three paper bags.
I am particularly riled up today after lugging one of the overweight bags out of the car, dropping it heavily twice on the driveway, kicking it through the front door and quite literally dragging it through the house to the kitchen (snagging it only slightly on the door jam) and discovering, after that journey, that the bag of fresh grapes was neatly stowed at the bottom of the sack.
Gee, thanks.
I believe I am going to buy one of those handy luggage weights, and tell them if they all weigh in at under 50 pounds each there's a fiver in it for them.
Now that's money well spent!
I do this for a variety of reasons. First and foremost that he makes me (something about the environment?). Following that, there's the 5 cents per bag I save for bringing my own. (Incidentally, at No Frills, at least, you can actually bring your own used plastic sacks and they will still give you the 5 cents.)
An added benefit is that I no longer have a surplus of plastic bags EVERYWHERE in my home and vehicle and desk at work, which is very nice. I forget my cloth bags just often enough that I still have plastic bags on hand when needed, but I don't have trash bags filled with plastic bags desperate for a purpose.
I do sort of get the whole environmental thing, as well. After all, I can go in and buy 3 items and somehow they pack them in eight grocery bags. I've never figured out how they do that.
BUT I HAVE A RANT.
I am now at the point where I am willing to PAY the baggers in cash if they will just pack each cloth bag so that it weighs less then I do!
Explain to me how I can buy $90 worth of groceries and they all fit into two bags? I mean, I brought five bags into the store with me, so they actually handed me back three empty bags.
And this is not the first time they have done this. I don't know if I am being punished for not using their bags (which they clearly like to give away, because if I had NOT brought in cloth bags, these same $90 worth of groceries would have filled fifteen plastic bags and three paper bags.
I am particularly riled up today after lugging one of the overweight bags out of the car, dropping it heavily twice on the driveway, kicking it through the front door and quite literally dragging it through the house to the kitchen (snagging it only slightly on the door jam) and discovering, after that journey, that the bag of fresh grapes was neatly stowed at the bottom of the sack.
Gee, thanks.
I believe I am going to buy one of those handy luggage weights, and tell them if they all weigh in at under 50 pounds each there's a fiver in it for them.
Now that's money well spent!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Bill Came Today
I am not completely sure how I feel about it. I was expecting it, I guess. Despite that, I was thinking maybe it wouldn't come. Maybe I would be proven wrong.
The bill is for $5.28.
It would not be out of bounds to say I can pay this bill.
It would not even be untrue to say that it would be very easy to pay this bill, close out this particular account, forget about it all and move on with my life.
The bill is not my responsibility to pay.
It is a medical bill, and is coded for a procedure I never had done. A procedure that my doctor never requested.
It is for having blood drawn - and there were no additional charges for any sort of blood work.
I have called on this particular bill two times.
The first time, I explained the issue, and I was told she would "look into it and call me back."
Two months later, I got my next statement (which included a few hundred dollars in legitimate charges), and I called again. The person who answered the phone this time told me he could see the original inquiry and he would let the first girl know I had called again and she would follow up with me.
I explained to him I was prepared to pay the bill in full, if we could get that particular charge settled. He was unimpressed.
I waited another month before I finally sent off a check for the bill. Less $5.28 for work that never happened.
A month has gone by, and although I originally expected this statement to come, some naive, innocent part of me thought some wise person on the other end would wonder WHY I had short-payed by $5.28, would look at my account, see the inquiries and resolve the issue.
Today, however, the bill came. $5.28.
I could pay the bill and be done with it, or I could call, again, and argue the point.
It's not worth my time to argue. It's not worth my frustration when I get no where.
But the part of me that was a scared broke 20-something with mounting medical bills and increasingly frequent collection calls wants to fight this for all its worth. It would be retribution for all those bills that were never even looked at, never questioned, simply added to this credit card or that credit card until all the credit cards were full. It would be getting one up on the medical bills that were such a large part of my bankruptcy and the turmoil that scared broke girl went through.
The 30-something in me knows that none of that makes a bit of difference to this medical office. It's not even the SAME medical office, let alone the same person looking at my account. This part of me knows that it is more likely that I will be reduced to frustrated tears over $5.28 then that the person on the other end of the phone will agree it is a bogus charge.
The righteous part of me wants to write a letter! Threaten to sue!
The part of me that felt sinful and wrong for being broke, for being bankrupt, just wants to quietly pay the bill and just be glad its not for more.
The bill is for $5.28.
It would not be out of bounds to say I can pay this bill.
It would not even be untrue to say that it would be very easy to pay this bill, close out this particular account, forget about it all and move on with my life.
The bill is not my responsibility to pay.
It is a medical bill, and is coded for a procedure I never had done. A procedure that my doctor never requested.
It is for having blood drawn - and there were no additional charges for any sort of blood work.
I have called on this particular bill two times.
The first time, I explained the issue, and I was told she would "look into it and call me back."
Two months later, I got my next statement (which included a few hundred dollars in legitimate charges), and I called again. The person who answered the phone this time told me he could see the original inquiry and he would let the first girl know I had called again and she would follow up with me.
I explained to him I was prepared to pay the bill in full, if we could get that particular charge settled. He was unimpressed.
I waited another month before I finally sent off a check for the bill. Less $5.28 for work that never happened.
A month has gone by, and although I originally expected this statement to come, some naive, innocent part of me thought some wise person on the other end would wonder WHY I had short-payed by $5.28, would look at my account, see the inquiries and resolve the issue.
Today, however, the bill came. $5.28.
I could pay the bill and be done with it, or I could call, again, and argue the point.
It's not worth my time to argue. It's not worth my frustration when I get no where.
But the part of me that was a scared broke 20-something with mounting medical bills and increasingly frequent collection calls wants to fight this for all its worth. It would be retribution for all those bills that were never even looked at, never questioned, simply added to this credit card or that credit card until all the credit cards were full. It would be getting one up on the medical bills that were such a large part of my bankruptcy and the turmoil that scared broke girl went through.
The 30-something in me knows that none of that makes a bit of difference to this medical office. It's not even the SAME medical office, let alone the same person looking at my account. This part of me knows that it is more likely that I will be reduced to frustrated tears over $5.28 then that the person on the other end of the phone will agree it is a bogus charge.
The righteous part of me wants to write a letter! Threaten to sue!
The part of me that felt sinful and wrong for being broke, for being bankrupt, just wants to quietly pay the bill and just be glad its not for more.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
I did the math
I can live on $800 per month. That includes fixed and variable expenses. It even includes putting money away for "annual" expenses.
I can live on $800 a month.
Most of the time, I am actually very, very grateful that I was broke at a time when other people were buying McMansions and filling their brand-new-larger-then-my-entire-apartment-sized closets with new clothes and scores of shoes. I am thankful, because now that "saving" and "reducing debt" have become en vogue, I am ahead of the curve. I am out of debt. I am saving. I know how to live on $800 per month.
However, when I want to surf the Internet aimlessly, and all I can find are articles about shaving $5 off my budget here, or $3 off there, I get frustrated. I know to turn down my furnace, turn off my computer, not to leave my car running for 20 minutes and to pay my bills annually. I know that paying the minimum on credit cards is bad.
I wonder what there is out there for those like myself, who are ahead of the curve, or for all of those out there who were never "dumb" with their money, or who never were in an unfortunate situation that put them behind-the-8-ball financially. People who have a little bit in savings, but not enough for a money market account. People who have a little bit in retirement, but not enough to map their future. People who still want to drink coffee or cola or beer and go to the movies on occasion and wear cute shoes. People who want to buy books for their home library, even if they can get the books at the library.
When I think about the future, I actually worry that everyone will become like me. Everyone will put off buying everything. Everyone will buy used, will make due with what they have.
Everyone who sells new things will go out of business. Everyone who makes new things will go out of business. Everyone who makes the things (shelves, lights) that go in the stores that sell the things, and in the factories that make the things, will go out of business. The company I work for, that sells the things to the people who make the things, that go in the factories that make the things people buy, will go out of business. And I will be lucky to have the $800 per month that I need to live.
That worries me.
But then again, if, like, half the people become like I was, and live on $800 per month, then the stores will put everything on sale, and I will be able to move forward into my unbroke like and buy things at reduced prices.
And I like that.
I can live on $800 a month.
Most of the time, I am actually very, very grateful that I was broke at a time when other people were buying McMansions and filling their brand-new-larger-then-my-entire-apartment-sized closets with new clothes and scores of shoes. I am thankful, because now that "saving" and "reducing debt" have become en vogue, I am ahead of the curve. I am out of debt. I am saving. I know how to live on $800 per month.
However, when I want to surf the Internet aimlessly, and all I can find are articles about shaving $5 off my budget here, or $3 off there, I get frustrated. I know to turn down my furnace, turn off my computer, not to leave my car running for 20 minutes and to pay my bills annually. I know that paying the minimum on credit cards is bad.
I wonder what there is out there for those like myself, who are ahead of the curve, or for all of those out there who were never "dumb" with their money, or who never were in an unfortunate situation that put them behind-the-8-ball financially. People who have a little bit in savings, but not enough for a money market account. People who have a little bit in retirement, but not enough to map their future. People who still want to drink coffee or cola or beer and go to the movies on occasion and wear cute shoes. People who want to buy books for their home library, even if they can get the books at the library.
When I think about the future, I actually worry that everyone will become like me. Everyone will put off buying everything. Everyone will buy used, will make due with what they have.
Everyone who sells new things will go out of business. Everyone who makes new things will go out of business. Everyone who makes the things (shelves, lights) that go in the stores that sell the things, and in the factories that make the things, will go out of business. The company I work for, that sells the things to the people who make the things, that go in the factories that make the things people buy, will go out of business. And I will be lucky to have the $800 per month that I need to live.
That worries me.
But then again, if, like, half the people become like I was, and live on $800 per month, then the stores will put everything on sale, and I will be able to move forward into my unbroke like and buy things at reduced prices.
And I like that.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Ask Why
"Why" may be my favorite word. I am a bit like a three-year-old that way.
At times, I am sure it was trying for my parents to be faced with a child who asked "Why?" to everything from "make your bed" and "clean your room" to "eat your vegetables" and "get out of the street."
Unlike most children, though, I have never outgrown the word, and still offer it up in just about every conversation. You would think, then, that those around me would be quite used to getting an answer of "Why?" when they expected "That's cool!" or "That sucks!" or "You are so right!"
However, when he mentioned he wanted to buy the Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer that I have been looking at--okay, drooling over--for years, I don't think he was expecting my answer to be "Why?"
Don't get me wrong: I want the Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer. I am envious of each and every one I see at friend's and family's homes, sitting dusty on the counter. I turn green with held-back envy each time I watch a bride open her brand new mixer and I cattily think to myself, "She's never baked a thing in her life!"
I can not walk past them in the store without stopping to look. To run my fingers over them lovingly.
More than once, in my single years, I rationalized that since I live so far away, I could FAKE my own wedding, receive a Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer as a prize, and no one would be any the wiser.
Now, here I am presented with an opportunity to own one. A legitimate opportunity, given that he never does anything half-way and now knows the pros and cons of every model offered, right down to the motor size and available attachments. He has shopped other brands. He knows which one he would get me, all I have to do it pull the trigger and say "yes, wonderful, perfect! Buy it! Let's go to the store right now!"
Instead, I say "why?"
He was dumbstruck.
I want one, yes. However, the actual thought of buying one never really occurred to me. Did I just want the gift that many of my friends received? Did I want to belong to the Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer Owners Club? That doesn't seem right.
We have a tiny kitchen at the moment, with limited counter space and no cupboard large enough to house a mixer that size. So it would either spend its life taking up a good 50% of my counter or in the attic, out of sight, out of mind, where it would rarely get used because the hand-mixer would just be "easier."
Maybe I really did want one but I was hesitating because the situation now isn't ideal - in which case I should be saying "yes!" and know it would get used. Sometime. If it gathers dust in the meantime, well, isn't that what happens to all Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixers?
I started having memories of my mother's stand mixer. It wasn't a Kitchen-Aid. It wasn't really even a stand mixer. It was a combination stand mixer and hand mixer. This seems pretty smart to me now. I told him, if I get a combination unit, then I would gain a stand mixer, but I would be able to get rid of the hand-mixer! (It's pretty obvious by now how much we love getting rid of things!)
It was at that point that he revealed HIS hand-mixer, still in the box. (It was on the top shelf, so I never stood a chance of spying it.) So we have two hand mixers. Along with multiple stick blenders.
All the more reason not to get a Kitchen-Aid Mixer right now.
Asking "why" is a tough step of budgeting. Every time you spend money you have to ask why you're spending it, who you're spending it for.
I could fill pages on my thoughts of people who tell me I "should" get something or I "must" have that.
Recently I was told I needed a "smart" phone -- so that I would have unrestricted access to the Internet while at work. Not a bad idea, except the reason that I don't have unrestricted access to the Internet while at work is that work does not want me to be on the Internet while at work. They want me, ohhh, I don't know....working? So the idea of spending money in order to do something that is going to tick off my employer seems like a doubly bad idea.
The helpful people telling me how much I need this that and the other thing actually remind me of hanging around a party with the under 25 crowd, and turning down a drink. This was something I did regularly for the simple reason I can't stand the taste or smell of beer and have absolutely no desire to consume one (even the tricky ones described as "Chocolate"). The look on the face of my peer, who was usually half-drunk themselves and couldn't understand what taste had to do with anything, is the same look on the faces of people now when they find out I don't have specialized ring tones or GPS or unlimited everything. The look that comes over them when I say I didn't see that show last night, and won't tune in next week either, because I no longer have cable.
As long as I keep asking "why," though, I hope I will safely incorporate pickles into my life. . .without bringing home the whole buffet.
At times, I am sure it was trying for my parents to be faced with a child who asked "Why?" to everything from "make your bed" and "clean your room" to "eat your vegetables" and "get out of the street."
Unlike most children, though, I have never outgrown the word, and still offer it up in just about every conversation. You would think, then, that those around me would be quite used to getting an answer of "Why?" when they expected "That's cool!" or "That sucks!" or "You are so right!"
However, when he mentioned he wanted to buy the Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer that I have been looking at--okay, drooling over--for years, I don't think he was expecting my answer to be "Why?"
Don't get me wrong: I want the Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer. I am envious of each and every one I see at friend's and family's homes, sitting dusty on the counter. I turn green with held-back envy each time I watch a bride open her brand new mixer and I cattily think to myself, "She's never baked a thing in her life!"
I can not walk past them in the store without stopping to look. To run my fingers over them lovingly.
More than once, in my single years, I rationalized that since I live so far away, I could FAKE my own wedding, receive a Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer as a prize, and no one would be any the wiser.
Now, here I am presented with an opportunity to own one. A legitimate opportunity, given that he never does anything half-way and now knows the pros and cons of every model offered, right down to the motor size and available attachments. He has shopped other brands. He knows which one he would get me, all I have to do it pull the trigger and say "yes, wonderful, perfect! Buy it! Let's go to the store right now!"
Instead, I say "why?"
He was dumbstruck.
I want one, yes. However, the actual thought of buying one never really occurred to me. Did I just want the gift that many of my friends received? Did I want to belong to the Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer Owners Club? That doesn't seem right.
We have a tiny kitchen at the moment, with limited counter space and no cupboard large enough to house a mixer that size. So it would either spend its life taking up a good 50% of my counter or in the attic, out of sight, out of mind, where it would rarely get used because the hand-mixer would just be "easier."
Maybe I really did want one but I was hesitating because the situation now isn't ideal - in which case I should be saying "yes!" and know it would get used. Sometime. If it gathers dust in the meantime, well, isn't that what happens to all Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixers?
I started having memories of my mother's stand mixer. It wasn't a Kitchen-Aid. It wasn't really even a stand mixer. It was a combination stand mixer and hand mixer. This seems pretty smart to me now. I told him, if I get a combination unit, then I would gain a stand mixer, but I would be able to get rid of the hand-mixer! (It's pretty obvious by now how much we love getting rid of things!)
It was at that point that he revealed HIS hand-mixer, still in the box. (It was on the top shelf, so I never stood a chance of spying it.) So we have two hand mixers. Along with multiple stick blenders.
All the more reason not to get a Kitchen-Aid Mixer right now.
Asking "why" is a tough step of budgeting. Every time you spend money you have to ask why you're spending it, who you're spending it for.
I could fill pages on my thoughts of people who tell me I "should" get something or I "must" have that.
Recently I was told I needed a "smart" phone -- so that I would have unrestricted access to the Internet while at work. Not a bad idea, except the reason that I don't have unrestricted access to the Internet while at work is that work does not want me to be on the Internet while at work. They want me, ohhh, I don't know....working? So the idea of spending money in order to do something that is going to tick off my employer seems like a doubly bad idea.
The helpful people telling me how much I need this that and the other thing actually remind me of hanging around a party with the under 25 crowd, and turning down a drink. This was something I did regularly for the simple reason I can't stand the taste or smell of beer and have absolutely no desire to consume one (even the tricky ones described as "Chocolate"). The look on the face of my peer, who was usually half-drunk themselves and couldn't understand what taste had to do with anything, is the same look on the faces of people now when they find out I don't have specialized ring tones or GPS or unlimited everything. The look that comes over them when I say I didn't see that show last night, and won't tune in next week either, because I no longer have cable.
As long as I keep asking "why," though, I hope I will safely incorporate pickles into my life. . .without bringing home the whole buffet.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Onion Layers
For the first 25 years or so of my life, I was a pretty average American. I bought things when I needed them, and, generally, when I wanted them. I was given gifts, which I kept, even when I didn't like them all that much. I was offered things for free ("someone else's trash") and I took it because I might need it, someday.
I was never a shopaholic or a hoarder or over the top in my collection of "things", in fact, since I moved around the country every few years, I made a regular effort to not collect clutter.
About the time that I discovered I was broke, I started selling in yard sales. I recall one, when I was trying to raise the money to pay the lawyer to declare bankruptcy, where I took 90% of my personal possessions and set them out on the driveway in front of my apartment and sat all day, selling whatever I could. What was left over, went back inside my home, and that was what I kept ~~ That's right, my home was filled with things other people wouldn't offer a quarter for. And it was still full.
When my parents relocated from Massachusetts to Oklahoma, and downsized in the process, they made a stop along the way to give me boxes, and boxes, of "stuff" from their attic. Dancing trophies and photo albums and school work and a refrigerator size box stuffed with stuffed animals. Oh, and the all-important shoeboxes overflowing with key chains.
My mom is going to read this and open her mouth to disagree with my tone, so let me make clear, everything they gave me was something I said "no, don't get rid of that, I'll take it."
After that, I didn't really want to buy anything new. I was too broke to afford much, shopping was thoroughly depressing, and I was driven to pay back everything and everyone I could. So not a lot new came into the house, though, let's be honest, things did come in. The ratio of "clearance" items, "great buys from Goodwill" and even "Teresa, I don't want this anymore, but I think you're like it" compared to actual new items, however, switched up dramatically.
A few years post-bankruptcy, when I had the paying-off-debt thing down pat, I moved. I moved a LOT of stuff! I couldn't understand where it all came from! I had been BROKE for four years and yet suddenly I needed the extra-long U-Haul?!? How had this happened?
When I got to my new city, I began a mission to shed myself of things that you could say "I don't want this, I just didn't want to give up anything ELSE when I was so broke."
I either wanted to use something or get rid of it. I would be a Gypsy again, able to move everything I owned at one time, in the back of my Aztec. No U-Haul needed!
For home decorations, I used the things I already had.....those stuffed animals my parents brought from Massachusetts spread out over kitchen cabinets, Mary Moo-Moo's littering the entertainment stand, and Breyer's horses looking down from the top of the bookcase. (Yes, it IS a miracle I got a boyfriend with decor like that.)
Every few months, for 16 months, I would go through a cabinet or a closet and find a load of things to give to Goodwill. Things that should never have made the moved....I didn't even OWN a twin bed, so, why all the sheets?
I would feel like I had pared down amazingly well, then a few months later open a cupboard door and wonder why I still had a blender when I hadn't actually used it ...umm...ever. (Maybe once in college when I was going to make my own healthy smoothies but I bought the Whey powder and it was NASTY!) Then I would spend a Friday night rifling through everything again and find I had another big load to give away.
When we decided to move in together, I went at it even more hard-core. Two complete households were going to be sharing a 700sq foot home, after all. That is what pushed me to get rid of a lot of thing....items like my futon, which regularly fell apart could be given away. Being practical, this wasn't because I was thinking "We're going to live together forever and I will never need my own furniture again" but instead it was "I have the money in savings to buy a new couch, one befitting at 30-year-old woman, not a college kid, if needed."
Even so, certain things I didn't need while living with him I saved...in case I moved out again, we wouldn't need to replace. So my dishes went into storage and my vacuum, my nicer furniture and a few other items we were doubled up on. I sold a few other things, as well.
The house was still too crowded. Regularly he and I go through our items and load up a box or two for Goodwill. Before we make a purchase we run it past each other -- will it get used or just be clutter? If we buy this item can we get rid of anything else?
In the spring, we had a yard sale, and sold so many things our neighbor came over to ask "How did all this FIT in your house?!?" Much of this was the items we had kept duplicates of in case we went our separate ways. We trimmed down to one set of most things.
Items that did not sell did go back into storage. Things were sold on Craigslist or to friends, and carload after carload headed out to Goodwill.
Despite ALL of my giving items away, I am still peeling the layers of that onion, still finding that I have items today that I don't really need to save. Just this weekend I went through my sewing kit and scaled down the needles and pins to one box of each.... and discovered an old candy tin filled with thimbles. I don't even USE a thimble. In the end, just getting rid of the things that were definitely not needed, not usable (bent needles? ), I was able to trim my sewing collection from three shelves to one shelf.
Later that same day, I discovered we are in possession of two hand mixers, three stick blenders and five various types of whisks. A) I think I should stop asking for that Kitchen-Aide Stand Mixer, and B) I think there are a few more layers to go!
I was never a shopaholic or a hoarder or over the top in my collection of "things", in fact, since I moved around the country every few years, I made a regular effort to not collect clutter.
About the time that I discovered I was broke, I started selling in yard sales. I recall one, when I was trying to raise the money to pay the lawyer to declare bankruptcy, where I took 90% of my personal possessions and set them out on the driveway in front of my apartment and sat all day, selling whatever I could. What was left over, went back inside my home, and that was what I kept ~~ That's right, my home was filled with things other people wouldn't offer a quarter for. And it was still full.
When my parents relocated from Massachusetts to Oklahoma, and downsized in the process, they made a stop along the way to give me boxes, and boxes, of "stuff" from their attic. Dancing trophies and photo albums and school work and a refrigerator size box stuffed with stuffed animals. Oh, and the all-important shoeboxes overflowing with key chains.
My mom is going to read this and open her mouth to disagree with my tone, so let me make clear, everything they gave me was something I said "no, don't get rid of that, I'll take it."
After that, I didn't really want to buy anything new. I was too broke to afford much, shopping was thoroughly depressing, and I was driven to pay back everything and everyone I could. So not a lot new came into the house, though, let's be honest, things did come in. The ratio of "clearance" items, "great buys from Goodwill" and even "Teresa, I don't want this anymore, but I think you're like it" compared to actual new items, however, switched up dramatically.
A few years post-bankruptcy, when I had the paying-off-debt thing down pat, I moved. I moved a LOT of stuff! I couldn't understand where it all came from! I had been BROKE for four years and yet suddenly I needed the extra-long U-Haul?!? How had this happened?
When I got to my new city, I began a mission to shed myself of things that you could say "I don't want this, I just didn't want to give up anything ELSE when I was so broke."
I either wanted to use something or get rid of it. I would be a Gypsy again, able to move everything I owned at one time, in the back of my Aztec. No U-Haul needed!
For home decorations, I used the things I already had.....those stuffed animals my parents brought from Massachusetts spread out over kitchen cabinets, Mary Moo-Moo's littering the entertainment stand, and Breyer's horses looking down from the top of the bookcase. (Yes, it IS a miracle I got a boyfriend with decor like that.)
Every few months, for 16 months, I would go through a cabinet or a closet and find a load of things to give to Goodwill. Things that should never have made the moved....I didn't even OWN a twin bed, so, why all the sheets?
I would feel like I had pared down amazingly well, then a few months later open a cupboard door and wonder why I still had a blender when I hadn't actually used it ...umm...ever. (Maybe once in college when I was going to make my own healthy smoothies but I bought the Whey powder and it was NASTY!) Then I would spend a Friday night rifling through everything again and find I had another big load to give away.
When we decided to move in together, I went at it even more hard-core. Two complete households were going to be sharing a 700sq foot home, after all. That is what pushed me to get rid of a lot of thing....items like my futon, which regularly fell apart could be given away. Being practical, this wasn't because I was thinking "We're going to live together forever and I will never need my own furniture again" but instead it was "I have the money in savings to buy a new couch, one befitting at 30-year-old woman, not a college kid, if needed."
Even so, certain things I didn't need while living with him I saved...in case I moved out again, we wouldn't need to replace. So my dishes went into storage and my vacuum, my nicer furniture and a few other items we were doubled up on. I sold a few other things, as well.
The house was still too crowded. Regularly he and I go through our items and load up a box or two for Goodwill. Before we make a purchase we run it past each other -- will it get used or just be clutter? If we buy this item can we get rid of anything else?
In the spring, we had a yard sale, and sold so many things our neighbor came over to ask "How did all this FIT in your house?!?" Much of this was the items we had kept duplicates of in case we went our separate ways. We trimmed down to one set of most things.
Items that did not sell did go back into storage. Things were sold on Craigslist or to friends, and carload after carload headed out to Goodwill.
Despite ALL of my giving items away, I am still peeling the layers of that onion, still finding that I have items today that I don't really need to save. Just this weekend I went through my sewing kit and scaled down the needles and pins to one box of each.... and discovered an old candy tin filled with thimbles. I don't even USE a thimble. In the end, just getting rid of the things that were definitely not needed, not usable (bent needles? ), I was able to trim my sewing collection from three shelves to one shelf.
Later that same day, I discovered we are in possession of two hand mixers, three stick blenders and five various types of whisks. A) I think I should stop asking for that Kitchen-Aide Stand Mixer, and B) I think there are a few more layers to go!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Trying to Look At The Big Picture
For the new year, or maybe to end the old year, I zeroed out my finances. I have no outstanding bills from 2010, credit card or otherwise. Then, I took any money in my checking and moved it to savings. I am starting fresh with my Jan. 1 paycheck.
In doing that, it allowed me to look at my savings, and where I am after a 2010 that was a bit up and down. A living situation with lower rent and only two miles from work were big improvements. Medical bills were a frustrating setback, and my extended vacation, while much needed and not at all regretted, ate away at my savings, as well.
Looking at my savings, the numbers aren't where I want them to be. After all, I managed to rack up $44,000 in debt, in two years - and I was not a shopaholic, nor did I consider myself wasteful.
Ending the year with only $4000 in savings (not including actual retirement funds, which don't add much to the total, anyway), seems like not nearly enough. Not with all the things I haven't bought, the trips I haven't taken, the drinks I haven't had (seriously, $3 for a soda?). I want that number to be $40,000 to the plus side!
Wisely, before I got too depressed about it, I flipped back a page or two in my savings account register, to December 31, 2009.
One year ago, after paying for Christmas and auto insurance and auto registration and all of those "December only" bills....I had $400 in savings. (Also, I am pretty sure I was still paying some medical bills at that time.) Although I had been putting money away for those "annual payments" I had never even thought about the holidays, and $600 of my emergency fund had gone to pot lucks and Christmas cards.
Two years ago, as we closed out 2008, I had $100 in savings. I had used my emergency fund for auto and renter's insurance, and for my car registration, which, in Nebraska, includes your property tax for your vehicle, as well as your tags. I don't believe I did much for Christmas that year. Oh, and I still had some debt, as well, though I was paying it down as fast as I could!
When I go back farther then that, I am looking at negative numbers - car payments and the loan from my parents that got me through the darkest times. I don't believe I've ever met anyone who declared bankruptcy and walked away with no debt at all.
I started to see a logarithmic pattern.
I started to feel a little bit better. In 2009, I increased my savings 4 times. In 2010, it would appear I increased my savings another 10 times. I'm no math wizard, but I am pretty sure if I hold even to the 10X, then I will end 2011 with $40,000 in savings. If the logarithm holds, I will have more then double that!
Not really sure how that's going to happen, since I don't make $40,000 in salary and I don't play the lottery.... but I am looking forward to finding out!
In doing that, it allowed me to look at my savings, and where I am after a 2010 that was a bit up and down. A living situation with lower rent and only two miles from work were big improvements. Medical bills were a frustrating setback, and my extended vacation, while much needed and not at all regretted, ate away at my savings, as well.
Looking at my savings, the numbers aren't where I want them to be. After all, I managed to rack up $44,000 in debt, in two years - and I was not a shopaholic, nor did I consider myself wasteful.
Ending the year with only $4000 in savings (not including actual retirement funds, which don't add much to the total, anyway), seems like not nearly enough. Not with all the things I haven't bought, the trips I haven't taken, the drinks I haven't had (seriously, $3 for a soda?). I want that number to be $40,000 to the plus side!
Wisely, before I got too depressed about it, I flipped back a page or two in my savings account register, to December 31, 2009.
One year ago, after paying for Christmas and auto insurance and auto registration and all of those "December only" bills....I had $400 in savings. (Also, I am pretty sure I was still paying some medical bills at that time.) Although I had been putting money away for those "annual payments" I had never even thought about the holidays, and $600 of my emergency fund had gone to pot lucks and Christmas cards.
Two years ago, as we closed out 2008, I had $100 in savings. I had used my emergency fund for auto and renter's insurance, and for my car registration, which, in Nebraska, includes your property tax for your vehicle, as well as your tags. I don't believe I did much for Christmas that year. Oh, and I still had some debt, as well, though I was paying it down as fast as I could!
When I go back farther then that, I am looking at negative numbers - car payments and the loan from my parents that got me through the darkest times. I don't believe I've ever met anyone who declared bankruptcy and walked away with no debt at all.
I started to see a logarithmic pattern.
I started to feel a little bit better. In 2009, I increased my savings 4 times. In 2010, it would appear I increased my savings another 10 times. I'm no math wizard, but I am pretty sure if I hold even to the 10X, then I will end 2011 with $40,000 in savings. If the logarithm holds, I will have more then double that!
Not really sure how that's going to happen, since I don't make $40,000 in salary and I don't play the lottery.... but I am looking forward to finding out!
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